How to Listen So People Can Think

Meetings and Groups

When everyone gets the same amount of time,
knows that they will not be interrupted,
and everyone is really heard,
outcomes improve, sometimes immeasurably.
A lot of time and energy is also saved.

What question/-s?

Ahead of a meeting, work out and let others know:
what question/-s do you want everyone’s best thinking about?

A clear question directed towards the desired outcome 
focuses thinking and saves time.

In Practice – Do a Round

  • Decide on the question/-s on which you want everyone's best thinking.
  • If appropriate, mention that it’s important to regard everyone as equal thinkers, even if there are differences in age, role or status.

  • Ask participants:
    » to give their full, interested attention to the person who is thinking
    » to promise not to interrupt
    » not to think about ‘What am I going to say when it is my turn ?’ because they will figure that out when their turn comes

  • » to pass the turn on to the next person by saying something like: ‘What do you think ?’ Or ‘I’m done’.

  • Also mention that:
    » it’s fine to sit quietly for a while, thinking and letting the others’ suggestions sink in before saying anything
    » it’s fine to pass, and get your turn again at the end of the Round. You can then decide whether you want to say anything or not.

  • Consider setting a time limit of one, two or three minutes per person. If you decide on a time limit, ask participants to set their phones to flight mode and clock their own time. If someone in the group has a tendency to be long-winded, or if you are short of time, a time limit can be invaluable.

  • Decide whether to go clockwise or counter-clockwise. When you are all in the same room, you can go clockwise in one Round, and counter-clockwise in the next. In virtual or hybrid meetings, it’s best to stick to one direction, to avoid confusion.

  • Ask who wants to start. In families, you can choose to let the turns go more informally, as long as everyone gets their turn. In other contexts, it’s generally preferable to decide in advance to do a Round, in turn.

  • If there is still time at the end of the Round, keep going round. If people have nothing more to add, they can pass.

 

Did everyone choose to use their time ? How did the Round
affect the mood of the group ? How was the result influenced by
the fact that everyone had a chance to contribute and be heard ?
Did you manage to tap into the group’s collective intelligence ?
When people know they will be heard, they say things they have never said.

When people know they will not be interrupted, they think things they have never thought.

Sophie Stephenson

International Business Director, Time To Think
When people know that it will be their turn
they can really take in, and build on, 
the thinking of others.
In the past, one would come in to a meeting with an outcome in mind and “fight for it” without listening to one’s colleagues. Now we listen to each other and therefore make better decisions about strategy: the decision evolves, becomes collective and much stronger than if a single individual had “won” the battle and got her or his original idea through.

Alasdair Skelton

Professor, Stockholm University; former Director of the Bolin Centre
Levelling Up

Begin and end on a positive note

> Start the meeting with 30 seconds or one minute of silence (to arrive mentally) and a positive Round.

End with a Round on:

> What has been of value to you in this meeting? What is a quality that you appreciate in the person on your left? [or right]. This is particularly important if the meeting has touched on challenging issues.

Participants are likely to bring the positive energy from that final round to their next task and to the next meeting.
More

Resources

Thinking Pairs (scroll down to 'THINKING PAIRS – In Practice') can expand thinking on a question. It can be used in meetings before or after a Round. See also 'How to Listen so People Can Think' (free download), pp. 26-38.
Thinking Pairs can also be used by team members who need to think about an issue.
Positive opening and closing Rounds: 'How to Listen so People Can Think' pp. 72-87.

Components Attention,Ease, Equality, Appreciation, Information.

Often, the fastest way to improving the atmosphere is  to start noticing what is good and saying it.
Levelling UP

Dialogue

When everyone has had a lot of practice of Thinking Pairs and Rounds and has mastered giving attention, not interrupting, and letting go of internal urgency, you may want to try Dialogue in a Thinking Environment: two people thinking together on a common question. This can enrich the thinking in a longer meeting, before or after a Round. 

  • Decide on the question on which you want everyone's best thinking.

  • Decide the amount of time, usually up to fifteen minutes.

  • Explain that during that time, the 'ball' will pass back and forth several times on the joint question. One person at a time will have a wave of thinking and will then pass to the other person by saying something like "What do you think?" 

  • There will be no lying in wait for the other person to finish: the quality of Attention and Ease will be as fine as in Thinking Pairs and Rounds.

  • Either ask people to take their own time (having set phones to Flight mode) or take the time for everyone.

  • When time is up, it is usually good to do a Round, asking not for report-backs (which tend to send people to sleep), but for participants freshest thinking on the question.
better decisions 

Why I love Rounds
When everyone knows that it will be their turn, and they know when, and they know they will have everyone else's attention and they will not be interrupted, people can be at ease and engaged, and so, thinking takes off. Outcomes are so much better. You save a lot of  time. Decisions are more likely to be implemented. Because everyone's thinking has been heard.

Monica Schüldt

Time To Think Faculty